Adult Adoptees

I specialize in working with adults who were adopted. It means a lot to me because I was adopted too.

I know what it’s like. I’ve been through the emotional rollercoaster of search and reunion with birth family.

Maybe you’d like to search but just the thought of opening that door keeps you awake at night. Or you worry that your adoptive family would be hurt if they knew you were searching. People who don’t understand might think you’re being disloyal or ungrateful. But all you want is some closure. To have some questions answered. To look at a face that resembles yours. Many people just want the chance to tell their first mothers that they turned out alright.

I get the confusion of not knowing where you come from, not understanding your own identity.

Not having access to your family medical history. Feeling like the odd one out because there’s nobody in your life who looks or acts like you. And it’s hard to talk about it with anyone, because nobody understands.

I know what it’s like to have difficulty trusting people.

You crave close relationships more than anything, but at the same time, that’s what you fear the most. You get attached to people quickly, but find yourself rejecting others before they can reject you. Or you mask your true self, because you’re so afraid of losing friends or loved ones.

Adoptee issues can look like:

  • Fear of loss or rejection

  • Feeling unlovable or fundamentally flawed

  • Feeling like the world is a hostile place

  • Grief for your first mother, or the person you might have been if you weren’t adopted

  • Feeling disconnected and seeking belonging in all the wrong places

  • Trust issues, not getting close, repeated patterns of loss

  • Acting out, self-destructive habits like drinking

  • Hiding your true self, people pleasing

The good news is that it’s absolutely possible to recover from these! The most important thing to know is that you are not your issues. Because you had a traumatic thing happen so early in life, it’s hard to distinguish your issues from your personality. But I’ve honed my tools for healing adoption trauma over my 20 year career, and I’ve helped many people just like you understand their true identity and heal the past.

I struggled as you do when I was younger. Like a lot of adoptees, it took a long time to understand the connection between adoption and my emotional issues. I was able to heal through therapy, and now I have close, rewarding friendships, good relationships with family, and a fantastic husband. I have a fulfilling career that gives meaning to my life, and allows me to follow my dreams. Therapy worked for me, and I know it can for you too.

You deserve a safe space to explore what being adopted means to you. If you’re ready to believe in yourself more, make peace with the past and move with confidence into a future that YOU create, give me a call!